My book for Regenerator 2 was not chosen, but was the last book remaining one on the list and I was pleased to find lavish images of silver vessels and other objects within the pages.  I have carved into Silver by Margaret Holland in order to explore the books’ hidden memory. Nothing has been added, but fragments of pages have been removed and sometimes sections have been folded, repositioned or reformed in some way, exposing new relationships and connections, enabling the viewer to find new interpretations and hidden meanings.

This altered book is the 5^th that I have altered in this way and the series is intended to be displayed as small stage sets, which are in a sense, a metaphor for my ideas about memory as pockets and layers of reforming and modified information.

’arcane statements representing my ideas about memory and the need that most people have for reminiscence.’

There are around 50 of these canvases in all and I have a need to make more paintings, which I will as soon as my new studio is finished.

The recent Artists Talking Session led me to consider why I draw and collage in books sometimes obsessively in a stream of conscious way. I was an only child born in 1945 at a time when children were seen but definitely not heard and I can remember spending much of my early life making pictures and scrapbooks whilst trying to make sense of what was going on around me. I seemed to have a relationship with my drawing as well as my family and others around me.

I feel that I live quite intensely in my head, generating ideas and liable to go off at a tangent and I have developed a need to work obsessively in books.  Over the past couple of months, I have stopped drawing in books, and remained centred by making a large collaged drawing in the studio, sometimes then going onto making smaller images on canvases.  Even though I did not work on the large drawing every single time I came into the studio, I would be very aware of its presence, sitting facing the work and taking photographs in order to assess its progress when away from the Collage. I have been attempting to represent in the large work in the studio, how memory is stored, linked and organised as layers and pockets of information. I believe that the images taking shape on these canvases are a result of the seeking process of the large work which I think of as a kind of memory trove, or mine.

Originally, when possible, I worked in dim light, which I found made my imagination work harder.

When working in this manner both on the large work and on the small canvases,  sometimes information flows  from actual experience and from cultural life coming to the surface of my mind and onto the drawing and then may fade away or may be covered over. Some information seems to have a deeper and unexplained presence.

Images recede and re-emerge and the emphasis of areas of the work changes at different stages. Shapes and colours are covered over, sometimes re-formed – in a sense representing how we sometimes modify a memory to  so that it becomes more acceptable to us, fitting more easily into our memory bank.

Reminiscence

My approach to ideas of memory has been influenced by working for 15 years with older people as a nurse and as a reminiscence worker. I observed the benefits and healing effect for people who were suffering but were given the opportunity of revisiting and coming to terms with their past, telling stories sometimes making pictures. The personal sense and meaning of the life cycle are more clearly unfolded by those who have nearly completed it – the nature of the forces shaping life and the effect of life events. I realised that nostalgia re-creates an era from the past and is highly selective providing escapism, but reminiscence is a rich experience involving reliving experiences from the past rather than just recalling events…I am aware that this process often takes place when alone, can make us sad, but also can build connections between people and enables people to express how they feel, right now in the present.

The term Life Review to include reminiscence, was first coined in the 1960’s by the respected American psychiatrist, Robert Butler, an expert in his field who wrote about how reminiscence participated in the development of human characteristics such as serenity and wisdom, as well as contributing to depression in later life and he cited many case histories to support his ideas. I feel that the term Life Review has relevance for my work, apart from the disadvantage of suggesting orderliness, because our reminiscences are no more orderly than any other aspect of our lives.  Life Review I believe to be a highly visual process further shaped by happenings in the present.

I have come to the conclusion that reminiscence is a natural, intrinsic part of human behaviour, re-inforcing self-identity, is sometimes a preparation for death and that there is relevance here for anyone caring for older people.

To come back to the canvases exhibited here…..

Studies are usually made as small scale works, from which larger pieces are made, but for me, for this show, this is not the case. The large work in the studio is a kind of mine from which I can sub-consciously source the images for the small canvases – searching out the secrets of memory. Most of these smaller images have many layers, and have grown out of, rather than directly lifted from the large drawing. My process involved working quickly using high pigment acrylic paint onto these small canvases many of which had layers of previous work. The more successful results seem to involve knowing when the moment arrives to leave the process. ….Knowing when to leave the painting incomplete…. As tutor Lee explained to me….“fluid rather than fixed”

To help me consider this way of working ….. Lee advised me to look at the Drawings of Joseph Beuys. As the recommended book of drawing had a queue of people waiting for it at the library and time was short, I looked for examples of reproductions on the internet and found delicate and sometimes raw drawings, which were often fragmentary with after-thoughts collaged to the surface. Important details were precisely located, and this is the effect I would strive to achieve in my present and future body of work.

Recently applying gouache paint gave me the powdery, velvet – like finish adding to the mysterious effect and put me in mind of the impact of the pastel drawings made by Odilon Redon, whose work I have been revisiting.

On reflection, I found working on the large scale in the studio quite liberating, reflecting on my work at home. I found many smaller compositions within the large image ….giving further ideas about fragmentation and re-assembling sections of the work.

When working on the large drawing I found my self making connections, linking sections and generating more focused ideas about our ongoing need to reflect, re-visit and come to terms with past experiences, and I have found that the smaller painted canvases have flowed easily at this time.

I also found working on two portraits of fellow student Gwyn occasionally when I came into college helped to facilitate the small paintings, as I found that I was working in a different way bringing a kind of balance. The portraits have several layers and I found that the colours and manner in which the paint was applied varied, depending on the general feel of the studio at the time, although the portraits are about Gwyn.

These small square painted canvases can be seen as complete alone or in a group, when a new dialogue develops between them, and these have developed into the main work representing my ideas, although my original proposal was for a series of collaged drypoint prints. After completing a series of three prints, I realised that my ideas were flowing and now reaching out more successfully through the work on the canvases.

Over the past week, I have been considering references to reminiscence in classical texts, modern literature, and other areas of the arts. From my research into the subject of memory I knew that Aristotle had written extensively about memory and reminiscence in 350B.C. and I know that there are: novels, films and plays dealing with the subject. For example, some the films of Ingmar Bergman deal with the positive effects of reminiscence and the plays of Samuel Beckett deal with the dark side.

And to conclude ..I know from my work in Nursing Homes that when all memory has gone the persons identity often seems to fade away…… Memory seems to serve a sense of self and its continuity…….it can entertain us or shame us or bring us pain ……Memory can tell us our origins and offer explanations, but can also deceive.  I believe that while we retain our memory identity formation is a lifelong development assisted by reminiscence.

My work has focused on aspects of memory. My statement for the final show :

The canvases exhibited here have been painted over many times and have developed into a series of arcane visual statements, as I struggle to explain my ideas about memory and the need that most people have for reminiscence, or ‘Life Review’. I realise that nostalgia re-creates an era from the past, is selective, providing escapism but reminiscence is a rich experience, – a natural, intrinsic part of human behaviour involving reliving experiences from the past, rather than just recalling events.

I know from my work in nursing homes, that when all memory has gone, the person’s identity seems to fade away. Memory seems to serve a sense of self and its continuity; it entertains us; it shames; it pains us or brings joy. Memory can tell us our origins and offer explanations, but can also deceive. I believe that while we retain our memory, identity formation is a lifelong development, assisted by reminiscence.

I was privledged  to study  Botanical drawing with the late Mike Hickey, who taught me  about the character of growing plants.  I learnt that the tradition of botanical drawing dates back more than three thousand years. The earliest Plant illustrations were often produced to enable the identification of medicinal plants. Eventually, renaissance artists, such as Bellini and Durer painted natural beautiful plants, often as embellishments in large compositions.

As I set out for Lyonnesse

My book is an ongoing visual journal containing the experience and memories of an annual pilgrimage to the Scillies – the islands separated from Cornwall by the drowned landscape of Lyonnesse.

The journey into the book starts by entering and viewing the stained glass panel from inside the blue box.

A companion box containing a seabird skeleton carried from the seashore, is an indicator of life cycles and the frailties of life.

Some pages were prepared with colour before leaving home, remembering past visits, whilst a few pages await a future journey.

Images and words on the pages record the patterns, colours and observations experienced when walking on the islands and the attachments are treasures found along the way.

Book Arts  -Looking Back

Looking Back

This altered book now has a concertina format containing an echo from the past, a repeated haunting image of a young girl who worked in the noxious environment of a factory in the early 20^th century.

The original book, discarded by Hereford City library was deconstructed as I had planned to select and re-introduce fragments of the images back onto the individual pages, using a copying machine.

Unintentionally, the memory of the copying machine, by chance, produced the constant image of the factory girl staring out at us.

Book Arts Competition 2010

My work is concerned with memory and recently, I have been attempting to represent how memory is linked, stored and organised.

For this competition, I have carved into discarded books from Hereford Library in order to explore the books hidden memory. Nothing has been added, but fragments of pages have been removed and sometimes sections have been folded, exposing new relationships and connections, enabling me to find new interpretations and hidden meanings.

These altered books displayed as small stage sets, are in a sense a metaphor for my ideas about memory as pockets and layers of reforming information.

I have seen an amazing range of colours through the progression of the seasons, especially in the early mornings when the mists that drape the Hill bring a sense opf mystery. As the mists lift, a collection of abstract shapes is revealed often  in shades of green yellow and brown – sometimes striped by the plough. Please click on the Products Page for information concerning my Book about May Hill.

When making a monoprint, I work in my studio from memory in an intuitive fashion, painting onto the plate, making the print, and then working back into the image when with watercolour

For many years, my paintings, collages and prints were visual memories, relating to the shifting moods and atmosphere experienced when visiting ancient buildings and  places in the landscape that are somehow set apart.    The paintings were made from memory, reflecting the season in which they were painted.

More recently my work has focused sharply on ideas around memory -  how memories are stored, linked, modified and organised.